2am~~
and the eyes is falling~~
Damn, even after so many reports I still can't rid of this bad habit of mine to procrastinate at my work...
Well as least there's no major work tml...
Quick update, ever since I came back from workshop course, I've been (yet again) posted to another ship. Sadly though there's quite a few old friends here, they have some serious management problem...
How bad? You know its bad when premission was granted to let us go home but nobody is even changing their clothes... and I'm talking about 7pm here...
4 years since I start this blog, counting my days in this god forsaken place, planning and saving to get outta here...
Dammit, why does the last year of my contract seems to close yet so far...
Friday, August 20, 2010
Monday, May 03, 2010
Ze awakening...
Rewinding 15 years ago, I was the last person a girl would ever wanna associate with. Not the tall, dark and handsome prince charming, the only ever strong point of me were drawing (and yet I still fail my Arts in O'level). It is quite obvious I was a very lonely boy.
Fast forward 9 years later, when I got my current girlfriend, I sweared that I'll give her everything I've got to be a better man, I wanna lead her to a better life. But what I saw during that time with my miserable pay from part-time job was a path of gravel, uneven and barely safe enough to even call a path. I realised I have to do something, something inorder to finance and secure a better route for her and settle down. And thus I joined the Navy...
The starting paying and the sum of graduate-fund was exactly what I needed. With this money I can make a concrete road which is steady enough for my lady to run in her favorite heels. But I was not contented, I want the path to be weather-proof to protect her from the rain, I want it to be carpeted to cushion her when she falls, I want it to be air-conditioned for her to have a comfortable journey. Needless to say, I grew very greedy in terms of what I keep wanting to get for her. I saved very hard, I struggled on my ends just to add a few more dollars in my bank.
Yet after numerous rejection of purposal and the big 'break up' that happened last year made me wondered if all of which I've done was actually right. It took me 1 whole year to realise what is missing in this naive theory of mine. That this all-so-wonderful path which I wanted to create for my lady, ultimately, where is it leading to?
Suddenly the air-conditioning is gone, along with the carpet and the weather-proof shelter. Hack, even the road turns into nothing but a sandy pathway...
I finally realised what I really want for her and for that, I still very incompetent.
Thats why I'm gonna work harder, pursuing a better career for our future.
I have to grow up, to see a better picture, to give her what I should really give her.
I want...
to give her...
a home...
Our little home sweet home...
Fast forward 9 years later, when I got my current girlfriend, I sweared that I'll give her everything I've got to be a better man, I wanna lead her to a better life. But what I saw during that time with my miserable pay from part-time job was a path of gravel, uneven and barely safe enough to even call a path. I realised I have to do something, something inorder to finance and secure a better route for her and settle down. And thus I joined the Navy...
The starting paying and the sum of graduate-fund was exactly what I needed. With this money I can make a concrete road which is steady enough for my lady to run in her favorite heels. But I was not contented, I want the path to be weather-proof to protect her from the rain, I want it to be carpeted to cushion her when she falls, I want it to be air-conditioned for her to have a comfortable journey. Needless to say, I grew very greedy in terms of what I keep wanting to get for her. I saved very hard, I struggled on my ends just to add a few more dollars in my bank.
Yet after numerous rejection of purposal and the big 'break up' that happened last year made me wondered if all of which I've done was actually right. It took me 1 whole year to realise what is missing in this naive theory of mine. That this all-so-wonderful path which I wanted to create for my lady, ultimately, where is it leading to?
Suddenly the air-conditioning is gone, along with the carpet and the weather-proof shelter. Hack, even the road turns into nothing but a sandy pathway...
I finally realised what I really want for her and for that, I still very incompetent.
Thats why I'm gonna work harder, pursuing a better career for our future.
I have to grow up, to see a better picture, to give her what I should really give her.
I want...
to give her...
a home...
Our little home sweet home...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Clip from a story...
Here's an interesting (sad) clip from a manga about what a girl thinks of love.
Though it is so (bitterly) sweet that I should share...
To wonder what he is doing now, what is he eating.
To call his phone, to think if he'll visit that day or not.
To check for his message many times everyday.
To shop for his instead of youself.
To turns you happy and sad at the same time when you think bout him.
Love, is when you always wonder about him...
Yet, he won't visit just cause you're always thinking about him.
Worrying if he will think about you.
Worrying if you will bother him.
Worrying if he will find you a bore.
Worrying if he will stop loving you one day...
Love, is when you spend endless night crying for him...
Guys, I strongly urge that should you find a wonderful girl someday,
don't ever let her suffer like.
It is just too cruel.
Though it is so (bitterly) sweet that I should share...
To wonder what he is doing now, what is he eating.
To call his phone, to think if he'll visit that day or not.
To check for his message many times everyday.
To shop for his instead of youself.
To turns you happy and sad at the same time when you think bout him.
Love, is when you always wonder about him...
Yet, he won't visit just cause you're always thinking about him.
Worrying if he will think about you.
Worrying if you will bother him.
Worrying if he will find you a bore.
Worrying if he will stop loving you one day...
Love, is when you spend endless night crying for him...
Guys, I strongly urge that should you find a wonderful girl someday,
don't ever let her suffer like.
It is just too cruel.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
My love for food...
For those who know me better, I'm a big eater.
Once the black hole opens, everything goes...
I can easily polish my own plates and my GF's/parent's/friend's leftovers with ease.
But strangely I've been losing my appetite for the past week.
Barely ate one meal a day. And whatever goes in comes out as quickly as it did...
Hope I'm not coming down with something.
Actually if this goes on I might actuclly able to lose some weight...
Gaining an extra layer or 2 round my waist lately...
Good thing I've already passed my IPPT =P
Once the black hole opens, everything goes...
I can easily polish my own plates and my GF's/parent's/friend's leftovers with ease.
But strangely I've been losing my appetite for the past week.
Barely ate one meal a day. And whatever goes in comes out as quickly as it did...
Hope I'm not coming down with something.
Actually if this goes on I might actuclly able to lose some weight...
Gaining an extra layer or 2 round my waist lately...
Good thing I've already passed my IPPT =P
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