The 'Poor-fect' Boyfriend Project

Sleepless from procrastination...

2010-08-20T02:38:00.002+08:00

2am~~
and the eyes is falling~~

Damn, even after so many reports I still can't rid of this bad habit of mine to procrastinate at my work...
Well as least there's no major work tml...

Quick update, ever since I came back from workshop course, I've been (yet again) posted to another ship. Sadly though there's quite a few old friends here, they have some serious management problem...
How bad? You know its bad when premission was granted to let us go home but nobody is even changing their clothes... and I'm talking about 7pm here...

4 years since I start this blog, counting my days in this god forsaken place, planning and saving to get outta here...

Dammit, why does the last year of my contract seems to close yet so far...

Ze awakening...

2010-05-03T23:16:00.003+08:00

Rewinding 15 years ago, I was the last person a girl would ever wanna associate with. Not the tall, dark and handsome prince charming, the only ever strong point of me were drawing (and yet I still fail my Arts in O'level). It is quite obvious I was a very lonely boy.

Fast forward 9 years later, when I got my current girlfriend, I sweared that I'll give her everything I've got to be a better man, I wanna lead her to a better life. But what I saw during that time with my miserable pay from part-time job was a path of gravel, uneven and barely safe enough to even call a path. I realised I have to do something, something inorder to finance and secure a better route for her and settle down. And thus I joined the Navy...

The starting paying and the sum of graduate-fund was exactly what I needed. With this money I can make a concrete road which is steady enough for my lady to run in her favorite heels. But I was not contented, I want the path to be weather-proof to protect her from the rain, I want it to be carpeted to cushion her when she falls, I want it to be air-conditioned for her to have a comfortable journey. Needless to say, I grew very greedy in terms of what I keep wanting to get for her. I saved very hard, I struggled on my ends just to add a few more dollars in my bank.

Yet after numerous rejection of purposal and the big 'break up' that happened last year made me wondered if all of which I've done was actually right. It took me 1 whole year to realise what is missing in this naive theory of mine. That this all-so-wonderful path which I wanted to create for my lady, ultimately, where is it leading to?

Suddenly the air-conditioning is gone, along with the carpet and the weather-proof shelter. Hack, even the road turns into nothing but a sandy pathway...
I finally realised what I really want for her and for that, I still very incompetent.
Thats why I'm gonna work harder, pursuing a better career for our future.
I have to grow up, to see a better picture, to give her what I should really give her.

I want...
to give her...
a home...
Our little home sweet home...

Clip from a story...

2009-10-11T15:49:00.002+08:00

Here's an interesting (sad) clip from a manga about what a girl thinks of love.
Though it is so (bitterly) sweet that I should share...

To wonder what he is doing now, what is he eating.
To call his phone, to think if he'll visit that day or not.
To check for his message many times everyday.
To shop for his instead of youself.
To turns you happy and sad at the same time when you think bout him.

Love, is when you always wonder about him...

Yet, he won't visit just cause you're always thinking about him.
Worrying if he will think about you.
Worrying if you will bother him.
Worrying if he will find you a bore.

Worrying if he will stop loving you one day...

Love, is when you spend endless night crying for him...

Guys, I strongly urge that should you find a wonderful girl someday,
don't ever let her suffer like.
It is just too cruel.

My love for food...

2009-09-30T23:44:00.002+08:00

For those who know me better, I'm a big eater.
Once the black hole opens, everything goes...
I can easily polish my own plates and my GF's/parent's/friend's leftovers with ease.

But strangely I've been losing my appetite for the past week.
Barely ate one meal a day. And whatever goes in comes out as quickly as it did...

Hope I'm not coming down with something.
Actually if this goes on I might actuclly able to lose some weight...
Gaining an extra layer or 2 round my waist lately...

Good thing I've already passed my IPPT =P

Limited supply...

2009-09-22T22:34:00.002+08:00

Been scrapping alot lately...
Even since I 'support' with yet another insurrence plan, I've been meeting my ends and barely survivng by the days...

Just went out with my poly guys recently for 'prawning' (fishing for prawns)...
Unfortunately I end up 100bucks poorer (thanks to the midnight cab) if only 2 prawns which I end up donating away (I'm allergic to clawfish)...

Bye bye, Dissidia: Final Fantasy...
Bye bye, Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days... T-T^~

Sigh, totally losing count on my saving...
Not to mention my promotion is delayed, there goes my increment too...
Think I'll cancel one of my plan in near future or I'll really waste away...

Hopefully I don't have to contribute anymore to unknown miscellaneous stuff this month -_-

Too long ago...

2009-09-11T14:00:00.000+08:00

Eh... Just realize that the last comment I got for my blog was in 2007.
-_-
Should really update more often...

Anyway, the chaos in my life finally cool down for abit.

Dad finally clear away MOST of the animals in the house, but is now addicted to internet and constantly bugging both my mom and I bout his com since he is english illiterate...
Oh, and his blood pressure is so high he nose-bleed every so often...

My mom now works for a sissy doctor who took very good care of her. Though strangely his family follow him everywhere he goes. BTW, he is nearly 40...

As for me... Wow, where do I even begin... Hang on let me checking my last posts...
(Checking in progress...)
(.)
(..)
(...)
(!..)
(!!.)
(!!!)
(Checking completed!)
Ok here goes, nearly 14months ago my old ship was decommition due to old age and was posted to a slightly larger ship with an inhuman schedule and more demanding officers. Subsequently was posted to yet another ship (currently) with much better crew and schedule, though a major inccident happen reccently which I'm not allow to disclose and put my team into quite a tight spot. (Let just say I'm glad the ship made it back afloat...)
The private school I was getting a degree on made headlines a few months ago bout handing out fake degree and was close down shortly. Currently in the process of transfering to another while holding on (false)hope to claim some of my $27,606 back... sigh...
Helped one too many 'friends' and got myself quite poor, not to mention my bonus and promotion was on hold.

Yawn...
Tired...
I take a wink of nap...

New...?

2009-09-09T21:39:00.000+08:00

Finally got a little push from a friend of mine to update this blog again. Felt bit sick of the last look so decide to change to whole template too.

Really surprise to see how easy it is to add stuff to blog now. Just a click here and there and everythings done.

Sadly I've still not a clue to how to add a shout box -_-

Will update soon bout how tragic my life was for the past few months =P

Save: ...
Current Bank: ???
Saving Bank: 21500
Saving (2): 400
Saving (???): ...
(PS: I'm seriously considering to remove this section bout my saving -_-;)

Killer surge of energy...

2009-03-27T00:00:00.003+08:00

Ever have one of those power failure or trip in electric supply at home or in work place?
Where it happen when you least expected and totally wash away all your unsave data?

Sigh...

My house have a long history of this sort of power surge...
Losing data had already been a common practise for me, thus developing a habit of saving every now and then... Or simply don't do too many too important stuff with my com...

Now as you know, this sort of power surge is able to more damage to electronic stuff than just a simple lost of memory... My com have had experience surge so powerful it resets my processor, luckily the hard drive wasn't affect thou...

Sadly, the last series of major power surge kills quite a few of my dad's fishes and my monitor...
Seemingly hopeless as the warranty expire eons ago, i decide to purchase a new monitor, burning yet another hole in my savings...

Problem didn't stop there...
As i forgot to take account for the age of my com, i soon release the 22" wide screen LCD monitor is too powerful for my graphic card (its nearly 7years old, it's already a blessing considering its still booting)...

Current using my dad's monitor while i 'loan' him my new monitor...
(Ironically, his com is able to use it...)

A very classic example of 'acting too clever for my own sake'...

I need a new com... T-T

Save: ...
Current Bank: ???
Saving Bank: 19000
Saving (2): 1140
Saving (???): ...

If I Were A Boy... (Wait, I AM a boy....)

2009-03-22T17:16:00.004+08:00

After a rather eventful/dramatic week of ups and downs...
Well, since I'm typing this again you guys should know what it means anyway...

Interestingly, what made it all happen is just a song.
If I Were A Boy by Beyonce (I would copy the lyrics here and so but its just not my style =P)
Anyway, it talks bout a girl's point of view if she were, well, a boy...

So what actually happen is my gf was listening to this song and got so emotional cause she believe she's is so much alike the boy the in song...
(Which makes me the girl...... nevermind...)

Now here the fun part,
I'm suppose to be the girl in the song, saying bout much of a jackass I'll be if I were a boy, yet I'm able make myself a prefect gentleman to take better care of my girl............. (Note: I AM in fact, medically proven, a boy)
If that doesn't confuse you yet, wait till you think bout the role I'm suppose to play in real life (if I'm suppose to be the girl in the song). Which means I'm supposes to be talking bout how much of a asshole I'll be if I were a girl, yet able to be the prefect lady to take better care of my guy............. (Won't that actually make me gay?)

...............................................................
Nevermind...

Good thing the main point here is bout my gf here, so please go ahead and listen to the song to judge the meaning behind it...

Save: ...
Current Bank: ???
Saving Bank: 19000
Saving (2): 1460
Saving (???): ... Eh, wth...

Mission failed...

2009-03-16T21:19:00.002+08:00

Really never thought it'll come to this...

This is it people, the project and the relationship ended...

Nothing more need to be said, it's nobody's fault...

Maybe i'll go for a vacation or something...

Hopefully this blog can go on...

Result: nearly 40k worth of saving, more than half unable to redraw till 3 more yrs and a seriously broken heart...
(yea, i'm pathetic, sue me =P)

Killing my time...

2008-04-14T23:39:00.002+08:00

Long time no blog...
as usual...

What can i say? I've been busy... =P

Seriously though, lots of stuff adding up, but the thing i'm proud of the most is i've finally sign up for the degree (part time) i've been planning for so long...
With that aside, it means that all i've save so far will going into the wedding fund for real (i hope)...

Though i still need to fill up some part...
I still hoping for my own bike asap which gonna cost me bout 3k or so...
My study loan is killing me...
Helping my friend with a loan, not finacially but still...

All and all things look pretty good... Compare to last year that is...
Though a very big problems remain...
So many things, so little time...

Spend: 27k for degree, nuff said...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: ???
Saving Bank: 13500
Saving (2): 1505
Saving (3): 9105.96 units (note: i have not the slightest clue what is in my saving 3 & ? anymore)
Saving (?): XXX

Loaded... But not rich...

2008-02-28T22:40:00.002+08:00

For those who know better, my last year was pretty rough, adjusting to the ship/work load and so on, plus having bless by the law of Murthy, what can go wrong DID go wrong...

This year so far have been very kind to me...
the people onboard have a new respect for me (ironic thing is that the same respect was came from the same thing which got me into trouble last year), just got my (belated) promotion, finally finish my bike lesson (all thats left is the final exam), pick up a new hobby which surprisingly keep me awake on my worst hours (ironic, again, its the same thing that used to put me to sleep) and now got a place in a course i've been planning for eons...

The only draw back i see so far is firstly, my wallet/savings are now a crash diet, my games are wittering away cause I haven't had time to even rest well and there seems to be a growing distance between my friends, family and most important, my dear girlfriend...

I could be thinking too much like I've always do but something just doesn't feel right...
my parent are growing increasingly afraid of me, my friends are drifting away from me (literally) and my girlfriend... my dear...

I need a break...

Spend: 200+ on Valentine, 150+ on bike lesson, 120 on games, 300+ on transport and 5000 on school fees...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 200+
Saving Bank: 12500
Saving (2): 2505
Saving (3): 9105.96 units
Saving (?): XXX

PS: I love you...

2008-02-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

Ok, so thats not the most original title in the world and i'll probably get my ass sued should anything goes wrong...
So...

Sue me already =P

Anyway, as miracle as it sounds, i, Jack Tan, did the impossible...
venture through the darkest route, conquer the most dangerous obstacles and face to face with my greatest fear...

I read a book...

You may laugh, you may...
but coming from someone who took 5years to finish 'Jurassic Park' (read 3 pages, fell asleep, woke up and totally forget what i've read, flip back 2 pages, continue read 3 pages, repeat... and to make it worse, i actually skip quite a few chapter too =P), its quite a grand acomplishment for me...

Well, no price for guessing what i read, the movie is coming out soon this Valentine Day, 'PS: I love you' is worth reading...
for those who don't know yet, here's a simple intro: its bout a widow who while grefing over her dead husband, received letters which he had planned before he left, guiding her step by step to getting back onto her feets and live life again...

to tell the truth, i've never intend the read any book, let along this, since... err... secondary? (i'm not good with books ok? besides, my sleeping problem ain't the most helpful with it...)
but something hit me the last time when i watch 'Shrek 2'...
Shrek is complaning over how insencitive his new father-in-law is and throwing tantrum bout wanting to head back home... Thats when Fiona exclaim: think bout how much i've change for you...

My dear have change alot over the years; some good, some bad, some takes longer than expected and some still need some work...
quite frankly i couldn't ask for more (give and take...), but there is something which i really wish she would do for me... Help me play some games which i really need a partner in...

Thinking back at what Fiona said, i believe is did my fare share of work as her boyfriend in taking care of her, guiding and helping her through her rough times in school, paying for all our expenses, providing the listening (deaf) ear for her to rant about her lousy day... i even learn to pick up those girly stuff so we have more topic to talk about...
But one thing i failed is that i haven't able to read like she does... always thinking she'll explain it to me if i really so keen to know, or somehow the theater version would appear and we'll catch it together (wishing she would do the same for my macho guy movie)...

But this time, she insist she'll sit out this movie, thinking the movie won't able to capture the magic of the book (i agree)...

If i can't share the movie with you, i'll read to book to share the magic too...
Dear, this is my greatest 'change' i've ever done to for you...

PS: I love you...

Spend: ... (Thanks to some screw ups with the head quarters, i barely got enuff to pay for last month bills... Really starting to hate this place...)
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 200+
Saving Bank: 12500
Saving (2): 7805
Saving (3): 9105.96 units
Saving (?): XXX

Its been long...

2008-01-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

This gonna be a short update...
Been awhile since i last did this, not that i don't have the time, just kindda got lost in a certain hunting game =P

Anyway, will be sailing to Jakarta tomorrow for a week...
not the safest place in the world but not like i got a choice...

The one thing i worry most now is my dear girlfriend...
While she very independent, recently she have beening overspending abit, not to mention her little episodes she have in her new poly...

Lots of things happen the last few months, money wise, start of a gaming legacy, a few good movie and tons of lousy times as well... (Man, i'm speaking as if i'm writing my will...)

Oh well, i doubts anyone will notice this update anyway...
Just trying to keep this blog 'alive'...

Hope i don't vomit too much out there =P

PS: Due to some stupid inccident, i've change my phone number to: 96548520, do update my number ya?

Spend: ...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 300+
Saving Bank: 12000
Saving (2): 7995
Saving (3): 9105.96 units
Saving (?): XXX

The real 'dumb-dumb's...

2007-09-27T22:00:00.000+08:00

Ah... Back from a (forsaken) sailing... again...
Granted a day off...

Was getting bored half way through the day when i just realise that my precious (hehe...) Wii is begining to collect some dust...

HOW COULD THIS BE!!??
MY PRECIOUS!!! (hehe...)

While dusting off my precious (hehe...), i begin to wonder why haven't i play it recently...
Busy? Sailing? Dating? Tired?
All sort of things came to mind...

Ah what the hack...
The best way to find out what went wrong is to play it again =P

...
...

(4hours and one angry girlfriend later...)

Yup, i got my answer...
I tends to get so absorbed while playing with my precious (hehe...) that i lost track of time easily...

And my girlfriend claims that i wasn't listening to her while we're chatting on the phone...
But i swear i am!!
I maybe shouting and cursing at the boss i'm trying to kill but i swear i am!!

(i know its not very convincing but i swear i really am...)

...

(REALLY!!)

Bout those 'dumb-dumb's who can't play a decent NDS game, bout the aunt whose getting a depression due to her stroke, and her son who flunk out poly cause of game addiction...
I really did listen dear...
Sigh...

Maybe i'm the real 'dumb-dumb' here...

My precious...
Hehe...
(ok i know its creepy, i'll cut it out...)

And so today's update:

Spend: 39+ for another lesson i fail... sigh...
Save: abit i guess... you just can't buying anything in the middle of the sea...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 300+
Saving Bank: 10000
Saving (2): 420o+
Saving (3): 9105.96 units
Saving (?): XXX

Boys to Men...

2007-09-23T19:56:00.000+08:00

Ah... Sunday...
The one day in the whole week when even waking up feeling like a chore...
(yet if you don't wake up if feel likes you wasted such a wonderful day of rest...
which you are suppose to rest...? -_-;)

In a blink of an eye (ok maybe a few million blinks), 2yrs have pass since i 1st step onto Tekong... Now everytime when i see a NSF friend, the 1st thing i ask would be: when you ORD?
(Kindda sad though cause if i didn't sign the paper i should be outta here already....)

Back to the point, after asking that i'll usually follow up with: What's your plans next?
This is where i start to see how NS really turn boys to men...

I once had a friend whom i knew from the net. She despise the guys around her. She was only 14 back then, standing at 170+cm, doesn't exactly stand out as a pretty face, got rejected by a guy or 2 and always wonder why... She had quite an attitude but that another story for another day...
She once mention she may not date another guy again... unless he completed his NS...
She claims that NS transfrom boys to men by implanting fear into their naive, boyish little heart, letting them face to face with the death himself, having encounters with the beings of the Netherworld... Only by this means do they really wise up and 'reborn' to be a true man...

(As you can tell, she's a pure psycho and went all boys to die....)

I like to beg a different to her comment as i 1st-handedly been through the ordeal and see how the transformation works...
What we guys went through isn't as cruel as what she claims (maybe worse =P) There will be sweat and tears along the way but the whole process is not meant to kill you but to let you think...

During BTM, we'll be put through some hellish training to prepare our body. Then the next 19months, we'll be posted to different unit/vocation where we'll go through mind numbing daily routine which bore us outta our mind or/and sanity.
While all this may sound simple to ladies or NSmen-to-be out there, only those who really been through these 2 years of what some call 'hell' will they understand how much it have change our mindset. Change us so we (as boys) will finally think bout our future, like men...

People whom i have asked so far who would ORD soon, all are able to gimme a very detail plan of their career path, road to study and for some even savings for marrage... One told me how his worried over his collage funds, another wonder if he should go overseas to study with his girlfriend, yet another wish he will get married soon (long story...)...

Anyway, here's my best wish for all ORD(ing) friends out there...
May god speed be with you...

And so today's update:

Spend: err... bills, food, transport... sigh...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 300+
Saving Bank: 10000
Saving (2): 420o+ (i think?)
Saving (3): 9105.96 units
Saving (?): XXX

Slice of my mind...

2007-09-13T21:35:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile...
Too many things happen...
Too much to do...
... Too lazy too =P

Nearly went insane last month...
The load of my work increase by 3 fold, test and inspection comes one after another, morons at work keep pushing my buttons, money running so low till i can't even afford my own birthday present without touching my savings...

And just went i finally got my pay to hold the bills back, the big 3-letter word hit me harder than i can ever imagine...
T-A-X...

Ah... My first step into reality of the working world...
Almost forgot why the hell i've put aside the whole chuck of ALL my bonus for...

Anyway, just went out for dinner with the few people onboard my ship who i'm good with for dinner. While its nice to eat out with good friends and such once in awhile, 2 things hit me... Hard...

1st of all, the guys were all discussing bout finance, money, investing, property, current rising market vs our slow pay-rise which i'm totally clueless about... While the contents is simplistic and somewhat navie to some extend, it goes to show how much they have already plan out ahead what they wanna do and what they have in mind for their future...
Regrettably, despite the lump of saving i've start as soon as i got into this forsaken place, the furthest i've ever planned is just to the end of my stay in this stump and towards university or wedding and such (which is the very reason why this blog is here is the 1st place). Meaning to say i'm not as mature as what might think...

2nd, we came to talk bout how guys usually manage their finance (especially in newly-wed days) and how it may seems to girls. A guy's usual management revolve around fulfilling his responsiblities 1st like paying bills or such and struggle to survive or save with whatever he have left. While what we guys see as being independent and responsible, girls may see as he is not able to support himself well enough for a proper meal, let long support me and my own lifestyle which i don see why i should give up just for his incompetency.

I don't know what lifestyle others lead but for me, my lifestyle is fairly simple, able to stuff myself with proper food and drink, simple leisure and entertainment of playing games and watching shows, occassional movies and buying of new games, and outing once in awhile...
All excluding bills adds up to not more than 500 per month.
I know i don't have a life to some but with this simple lifestyle i'm able to support my bills, give my parent monthly allowance, pay for my dates expences and my girlfriends bill, even saves up some money for future.

I'm not rich, but i hope i'm not incompetent...
I just wanna be 'poor-fect'...

And so today's update:

Spend: err... borrow 1500 from my saving (2) for my (pathetic) birthday and to pay my tax (a whopping 750 -_-)... The rest... never mind...
Save: my sanity...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 700+
Saving Bank: 10000
Saving (2): 420o+
Saving (3): 9105.96 units
Saving (?): XXX (just how many do i actually have? -_-)

My job... NOT my career...

2007-07-15T21:00:00.000+08:00

... Where should i start...

I read a book recently call: Rich Dad Poor Dad and it gave me a quite abit of... Inspiration...

Ever since I've start having doubt bout joining the Navy, I've been looking for an answer as to whether its the right choice to leave... The only excuse I've manage to come up with till then was that I wanna go out to study... Sounds simple, ambitious yet not too depressing nor insulting to those who still wanna stay... Kindda sad actually that the fact I'm still trying to find ways to convince myself to stay cause its a relatively good career with promising salary... For my education level and diploma that is...

Through out the months I've been closely observing the people around, finding out the reason they wanna stay or leave and comparing both while keep on searching for my answer...
Thought the conlusion is still blur but one thing is for sure is that:
The reason for me to leave wins over reason to stay by a light year, the fact that I've been unconciously saving up the sum I have now is quite enough evidence to show that I'm preparing to leave... And now that the fog in my mind have been cleared up, I'm now trying even harder to save up as much as I possibly can...
Though its really killing my softly... Nevermind that...

One thing I've notice bout the people that wanna stay is that they are heavily burden with what I like to call the 'Death Contract'... It's liablity of some sort which singaporeans commonly get themselves into, sometime without even realising it... Typical example would be cars, loan/debt (credit card, gambling, etc...), apartment, and family (mainly kids)...
I'll say I'm lucky enough that my girlfriend is still quite young thus removing the necessity for marrage anytime soon, which also neutralise the liablity of apartment and family... I don't have the habit of gambling nor do I have any loan/debt... While I'm heavily in need of a transport, I choose to get a bike which cost only 10% of what car would, while it doesn't totally remove the liablity part, it still cost a damn lot cheaper than the installment of a car...

So, I'm fully prepared to leave and made necessary arrangement for it, just waiting for my bond to be complete...
Now the only thing left is how I'm gonna deal with the people in camp...

Wish me luck...

And so today's update:

Spend: lost count for last month (over shot quite abit actually), 600 to house, 200 for my girlfriend's birthday presents (Nokia 5700, etc), 500 to saving, 70 for farecard, 20 for cab and 60 for 2 Bike lesson... And some for food of course...
Save: 1ooo from my bonus...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 400+
Saving Bank: 9000
Saving (2): 600o+
Saving (3): 9105.96 units

Outta control...

2007-06-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

Sigh... late update again...

Recently got an increasing number of stuff which I'm losing control of...
Time, cash, work, relationship... You name it...

Cause of my work place and the shortage of man-power, I've been doing duty like there's no tomorrow and with the help of my 'UN-lucky star', I got myself into some stupid case which involve missing parts of a rifle... Damn serious it is...

Bills on the rise, GST hike, no more home cook food thus gotta spend on dinner (again), more last minute recall and have to rush to work during wee hours and spent more than 200+ just on cab fare last month... I'm really eating myself alive...

Oh, and my house is offically a zoo now... Koi, Arowana, Lou-Han (total 20+ non-edible fishes) and half a dozen of God-knows-what birds they are that won't shut up... Couple with the insane number of mosqitues in the house, you WON'T wanna be here... EVER...

Relationship... I've made a point not to disclose too much bout what is happening between my girlfriend and I... Not really that I'm losing control over her or the relationship... More like I've never able to control neither anyway...
Just came to realize that I'm still not mature enough yet...

Sigh...
Really like to daze into the clouds this days...
Brings the peace which I long desire...

Oh BTW, I'm taking Bike lesson now...
And don't start giving crap bout how dangerous it is...
I know it all and no matter what you all say it still won't stop me Xb

And so today's update:

Spend: lost count again, only thing I remember is the 200+ spent on cab fare...
Save: Oh get real...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 150+
Saving Bank: 8500
Saving (2): 500o+
Saving (3): 9105.96 units (Don't ask what it is, think of it as a fix deposit)

Money = Happy?

2007-05-17T22:30:00.000+08:00

For certain security reason, i rather not desclose the sum in my bank now...
Got quite a FEW bonus... Again...

Like i said on the title, my goal for saving so much is nothing more than to gave my girlfriend her dream wedding which estimated near 100k...
Currently i'm roughly 20% to my goal now...

But as time goes by, the more i withness the rise of my saving, the more lonely i felt...

You see, my girlfriend now just started her new term in polytechnic and as i predicted, our time together was ripped off by quite a chunk...
New friends, new enviroment, new schedule...

Seriously, i don't blame her for the decrease of our time together...
But...
Can anyone really don't feel the pain?

There's once a friend of mine said i'm being a chauvinistic pig as this whole blog is nothing but stuff which i do to show how great a boyfriend i am due to all the stuff i did for my girlfriend...

I've kept her comment in mind all this time and make sure that the things i wrote here brings the minimal shame to her... Which explains the missing months of article which things are rocky between my girlfriend and I...

If a Leo's curse is its temper, what happen to mine?

And so today's update:

Spend: totally lost count... Gave bout 5k to my mom, 1k+ for my Wii (yeah!), few hundreds for stuff here and there, and a 200+ on games for my girlfriend...
Save: Quite a freaking lot... (You get the idea how big this bonus is...)
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: XXXX
Saving Bank: 8000
Saving (2): 5006

Kryptonite of parents...

2007-04-01T19:38:00.000+08:00

It seems like just bout all of us happen to have a period of time where we yearn for freedom so much we would even kill for it...
And it all mostly happen in our teens years where we were most disturbed...

If you guys ever watch the play by Russel Peters, at one point he mention bout gaining power over parent is like finding Kryptonite...

For most of us, just bout the whole of our childhood were very much sheltered by our parents whose intention is nothing else but to protect us, in which however the method they may use...

Us the younglings, while may or may not understand their intention, will always dream of having this 'Kryptonite', so we can just stop them for just once, so as to make room for us to spread our wings...
Some of us may even go as far as to hunt for this 'Kryptonite' without even trying to understand what is the moral behind all the suffering they may be going through...

Yet, like what the uncle of Peter Parker A.K.A. Spiderman says, 'With great power comes great responsiblity'...
While getting it is one thing, controling it is another...
Many turn to the dark side upon gaining such power and fail accept any form of reasoning anymore... Thus losing one's self to the devil himself...
Only when one is burned by the flame of hell will they come to understand that this freedom they yearn for is nothing more than just mere illusion...

In the end, one must realize...
This 'Superman' who we are using this Kryptonite on, at the end of the day, is still the Good guy who is just trying to protect us from 'Lex Luthor'...

Today's entry is dedicated to my little cousin who have ran away from home...
Wishing that she may come to see the light soon...

And so today's update:

Spend: 66.50 on food, 4 on batteries, 17 on comic, 4.90 on a toy (yes, toy... sue me...)
Save: 1000 (got a bonus... again... =P)
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 97.99
Saving Bank: 7000
Saving (2): 5004

When you wish upon a star...

2007-03-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

Was rather tired last night so didn't go the chance to write up bout my latest trip...

In fact, i just came back from a 4 days sailing, not really that long for others who did more but still the longest i've gone yet...

While the sailing is relatively peaceful, there is this one door i refuse to allow myself to even look through it... What door you ask?
The main entrance...
Maybe i'm just thinking too much but i get a feeling of great agony shall pour onto me should i bring myself to realize how i'm really so far away from home...

But not all was bad during the trip...

On the last night before we make our way back, i came across to withness a moonless night...
Everything around me was so dark that i can't even see the horizon...
And up above me, the stars shine brighter than anything else, as if they know their the very last of the light we need...
Our very last hope...

And for that very brief moment,
When you can't tell how far you are away from the sea of stars almost all around you,
When stars were shooting like you never seen before...

It felt like the whole gallaxy is upon you...

At that moment...
i was thinking...
If there really is such a place call heaven...
Where i should spend the rest of my departured life eternally...

I wish heaven would be a place like this...

And so today's update:

Spend: 11 on food, 320 on bills, 18 on cab...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 180
Saving Bank: 7000
Saving (2): 4000

Gone...

2007-03-28T23:35:00.000+08:00

Sorry for keeping you guys so long...
Been quite awhile since i last update here...

Well, despite my usual chatty-self, i can jolly well describe the last 2months with just 2 words:
Duty and Sailling...

Feb,
one hell of a month jammed pack with all the duty they can dump onto me...
Reason?
Excuse sailing...
All stupid jobs are dump onto me too...
Why?
(see previous answer)...
All rubbish (literally...) are yet dump onto me as well...
...
You get the point...
...
All the way till the end of the month where the doc shall decide whether i should live or not...

So the verdict is set, i do NOT have Narcolepsy... Just plain old hypersomnia...
The difference between this 2 is that one can't be wake while the later can...
And the later isn't... err... Serious enough to keep my ass off the sea, so...

March,
Sail...
Was drag onto all sailing they can get me in this month...
Reason?
(No, not excuse sailing... though close enough...)
Cause they want me to clock up more sailing time/experience due to...
... Nevermind...

And so today's update:

Spend: You gotta be crazy if you think i still remember where i spent for the last 2 month... (It'll be one hell of a long list anyway...)
Save: Dunno...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: ???
Saving Bank: 7000
Saving (2): 4200

Near death experience 2...

2007-01-24T21:35:00.000+08:00

For those who know me better, i had quite an experience bout 5 years ago...

Just yesterday, or should i say the day before, feeling bit weird and woke up with a cramp in my stomach... Didn't thought it anything serious especially when the last time i told my superior, he smack me back with a comment say: stomach cramp are only for girls...

Anyway, off to work i go, knowing that i have a medical appointment that night, i try not to make too much off a big deal bout it though i can't help but to feel a chill even under the hot sun... Try all ways to warm up but none work... Finally an officer took notice on how pale i look and ask me to report sick... it 10.40am then...

Took me a good 5min to walk what usually just a 2min walk from my ship to the gate's guard house... Its at there where i drop dead and have the guards call my ship people to send me to the medic... So happen that 1 of those who arrive to fetch me happen to be one of my sergeant who very proud of his job, his past battle scars, his soldier father... The moment he saw me in my pitiful condition he gave a very blunt comment of: Useless bastard...
Well he may think that way bout not the other 2 who were with him, one including a chief, both who glared him that instant... Feeling the immense pressure around him, he ate back his words and claimed its just a joke... My fever worsen, feeling sleepy, 11am...

A very blunt check up at the medic where they put me on drip (i hate drips, its not really the needle i hate, its the fact that those trainee medics that can never find my veins that irritates me the most). Very soon i was transported to Changi General Hospital. By now i'm already freezing my butt off and the hospital couldn't even bother to gimme a blanket...

Not too sure how long it is i was over there, only thing i know is that another of my proud superior's face literally turn white when the medic told him my temperature peak at 42 degree...
You know those static which you saw on TV whenever it lost it's reception? That what i literally saw in my eyes quite a few times while i'm dazing off in the hospital... The only thing is that its purplish with flashes of green instead of black and white...
Every single bone in my body aches like shit as if they're trying to break me inside out...

Gastric flu, thats what the doc says, and send me home straight after...

For the next 2 days, i literally felt llike i'm controlling my body from a third person point of view, only to zoom in when needed... Not to mention that the only thing that's coming outta me are either fluid or gas... From both end...

Guess i'm lucky to still be sane and alive...

The only question is...
Why am i still alone when i need her the most?

And so today's update:

Spend: bout 50+ just on food, 10 for ship's fund, 12 for girlfriend's gift...
Save: 30 bucks, long story...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 200+
Saving Bank: 6000
Saving (2): 3508.23

A sad qoute...

2007-01-17T20:12:00.000+08:00

A month since i last update...

There will be only 3 reason why i haven't update:
1, too busy...
2, spent too much to remember what i spent on...
3, some personal problem which i'm relactant to share...

I leave it for you guys to figure out which it is...

At the mean time, here's one of my fav qoute by Freya Crescent of FF:IX,

"To be forgotten is worse than death..."

And so today's update:

Spend: 500 into saving, 550 household allowance, 70 farecard, 85 on games, 100 to help my chef buy his memory stick, 87.05 on my girlfriend's bill, 31.60 for 2nd year aniversary gift, 170.26 on last month bill, 200+ on others...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 300+
Saving Bank: 6000
Saving (2): 3508.23

Overspent...

2006-12-17T22:19:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing my parent are impress bout me is my ability to get stuff for free...

Well, sort of...

Through phone and internet contract and others...

Till date, the stuffs which i got for free includes:

2 modem (including the new wireless one)

3 handphones (including my latest N73... Note: nobody believe i got it for free even now)

1 MP3 player

1 Osims foot massager

1 digital camera

and my latest freebie: a PSP...

Well, of course...

Not everything is always free...

Just the accessories and stuff i got for those freebies usually adds up quite alot and especially when i not very good in controlling my spending...

(Hey, don't tell me you never gone on a shopping spring before...)

If its not for this blog, i probebly won't even realise how much i've spend so far...

Can you imagine how scary it is?

But seriously, after double checking how much i've spend in just one week...

...

I think its bout time i stop all this nonsense already and get back to whatever of my life is...

Really...

And so today's update:

Spend: 287.40 for games and accessories, 49.90 for phone memory card, 50 for farecard, 500 saving, around 50+ on food...
Save: 500 into my saving (2)... (feeling guilty that i spend too much so bank in 500 more =P)
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 530+

Saving Bank: 5500
Saving (2): 3508.23

Good time at last...

2006-12-10T21:51:00.000+08:00

I guess the only thing good bout working in this forsaken place is...

Well... the pay...

Finally got the bonus which everybodies talking bout...

So when on a little celebration with my girlfriend...

Though i kindda over spent a tad...

Well, i did put aside more than half of the whole thing for saving...

So i guess it all balance out...

I hope =P

Hack, i'll just cut to the chase and get on with my list...

It'll make more sense that way...

And so today's update:

Spend: 13 movies, 7.10 on snacks, 47.08 on lunch, 134.37 for girlfriend's bill, 1000 for household allowance, 105.50 for my games, 20 for farecard, 13 on taxi fare, and a total of 415.60 for my girlfriend's christmas gifts which include a dreamcatcher, DS lite, one DS game, some DS accesories and a limited edition 20th anniversary Casltevania collectables...

Save: 2000 into my saving (2)... (WOOHOO!!!)

Wallet: 39

Coins: ???

Current Bank: 2022.72 (can you believe i still have this much left after spending so much in one day?)

Saving Bank: 5000

Saving (2): 3007.93

Woes...

2006-12-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

Its been bout a whole month since the whole thing bout my sleeping condition 1st begin...

Everything seems to go down hill from there on...

The doc says the same thing i read on wikipedia:
Neither the cure nor cause have yet been found...

He gave a good 4 weeks excuse from sailing (till 19th of Dec), hoping by then i would have done visiting the specialist and got a memo/report back... Till then all my activities and status are under: pending...

But what he didn't foresee is that the medic book my appointment exactly one week AFTER my excuse, on the 27th of Dec...

Nevermind that...

Now while i'm not able to sail which render me useless in all operation, the head of department fear the worse would happen and thus keep me outta all ACTUAL duty as well...

In short, no sailing or ACTUAL duty till my status is confirm...

(Note that i say ACTUAL duty... They won't let my pass my test cause of this and keep me "under-study", term they use for people who are learning to do duty, until further notice...)

Not only that, for the past month, everyday, day in day out there will be people questioning bout:
How did this happen, why must you ruin your own career, since when this happen, where got such rubbish, if you are a 'regular' why do this to yourself, everyone will have to urge to fall asleep and what makes you so special, then why/how did you sign on in the first place, if you own you have this condition all along why didn't you report it sooner, don't try to play 'punk' with me, trying to 'chao geng' is it...
If its not one of the above, they'll be most likely saying:
How useless or what a burden i am to the ship, that i'll be posted out, my contract is on the line and i'll need to pay the penalty, that i've learn to fight my inner demons, i'm not making enough effort, i'm running away from the problem and not solving it...

And so on...

But who would have understand that:
This condition is usually diagnose 10 to 20 years after the 1st incident happen, it wasn't my idea to report bout this condition and thus ruin my career, i knew since young that all along i have this bad habit, but didn't realise its actually so serious cause it have not affect neither my studies nor my past working experience, i have great difficulties fighting it cause i don't know when it actually happen and even if i do fight it, my body can't take it very well and end up fall sick very easily...

With this in mind, i've really lost all motivation to work... Think bout it, no matter how hard work or try, no credit is giving, no help is offer, nothing but piles and piles of complains are launch at me mercilessly...

Frankly speaking, under such less-welcoming situation, i would have request to leave the ship a long time ago...

But i feel that i really owe it my senior...

Here's a little story bout my department:

The department which i'm sent to (against my will), sent me to the basic training as the last "sacrisfy" batch due to (what i know so far): 1, shortage of department and thus open a last-minute class for the 'leftover' people who couldn't made it to any department... 2, the need to replace the last batch of people of my department in my ship whom have been waiting for their replacement for the last 2 years...

Beening a replacement ain't too bad less the fact that:

The head of my department or AKA my chief have a rather interesting reputation to keep...
My Leading senior just got post out due to medical problem...
And the last member left is the senior which i suppose to replace...

Frankly speaking, the people from my department have been rather kind towards me, especially my seniors...
Thus if i should really leave just like this, it'll be really unfair to them...

Sigh... But who is there to be fair to me?

And so today's update:

Spend: 10 on game accesories, 10 for ship's cap, 30+ on expences with girlfriend, 5 on food, 176.93 bills...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 30++
Saving Bank: 5000
Saving (2): 1007

Lost...

2006-11-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

Its been bout 2 years into my relstionship with my girlfriend now...
Though its rather short compare to some of what i know, i've come some conculsion...

I read this mail a few years ago something bout: love is not bout loving someone perfect but to love someone imperfect perfectly...

I've come to realise the 2nd meaning behind this phrase and that is there is no perfect person in this world... No matter how hard you try to be one...
Well here's the contradicting part... It is possible to be perfect but only to so limited number of people around you... usually not more than... 5 max?

Nevermind that... Lost track of what i wanna say...

While my quest to be a perfect boyfriend for my girlfriend, i found out that while people complain what women want is upmost difficult to achieve, men's ain't not so great neither...
Oh sure... There're lots of jokes going on that all men want is girl(s) to appear naked with (insert you favourite hobby, drink, food, etc...) but the truth is, men are usually much more demanding than they think...

Here's a brief list what men would want in their women:
Pretty, figure, slim, understanding, able to cook, don't nag, don't spend their money, not to shop all the time, not to drag them to shop with them, not to ask them those "Sure die" question, not to stop them from their favourite activities (soccer, basketball, gaming, etc...), don't cry so much...

Blah blah blah... and the list goes on...
Men are greedy, i know...

So the thing is that, while its literally impossible for a men to be perfect, it ain't not so easy to find a perfect girl too... Which i believe most men have already found out by the time they even read this...

Lost track on what i'm saying again...

Ever since i've been with my girlfriend, i've been critisize by lots of people saying how stupid i am for doing all so much unnessasary things for my girlfriend... So much that sometimes my girlfriend don't get it as well and in the end, still end up quarreling with me... I can't even start listing them but that's not the point...

The point of it all is that I can never be perfect no matter how hard i try and while all this while i've been trying so hard to adept to my girlfriend's life, i should give her a chance to adept into my life too... All to let her know both Pro's & Con's bout me instead of hide my ugly side from her...

...?
Wait a minute, isn't that the whole point to start with?

Forget it...
I've totally lost track on what i'm trying to say...

And so today's update:

Spend: 50 on game, 20+ on expences with girlfriend, 5 on food, 19 for movie, 82.67 for girlfriend's bill...
Save: 5 buck on the game...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 321.48
Saving Bank: 5000
Saving (2): 1007

Narcolepsy...

2006-11-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

For those who have know me well enough, they could easily answer this simple question bout me:

What time do i usually goes to bed?
A: Before 10pm
B: Before 12midnight
C: Before 4am
D: Before sunrise
E: Who needs a bed?

I've been having this rather interesting sleeping habit ever since primary 3...
To be able to sleep just bout anywhere, anytime, anyhow... Yes... Anyhow...

Here's a brief list of different ways i can actually fall asleep:
Studying, working, in class, in tuitorial, in experiment, waiting, sitting, standing, talking, playing game, with my eyes open, hands still scribling on paper, still active listening to others while still able to answer questions...

and the list goes on...

Now, while clearly after looking at the list even a kid would know by now that this is not normal...
But yet, i'm able to go about all this while without anyone even noticing my problem... For over 10years...
Reason simple enough, cause nobody care, nobody bother, nobody believe me...

I mean seriously, if you caught someone sleeping in class, at work, etc, the first thing that usually came to mind is that this fellow is: lazy, tired, can't be bothered...

Which is basically what i've been condemned for the past few years...

Well, i suppose it could jolly well be ignored for the rest of my life if nobody do anything...
But somebody did... and thus my chief insisted that i consult the MO bout my problem...

Narcolepsy...
A nerulogical condition most characterized by Excessive Daytime Sleepiness, episodes of sleep and disorder of rapid eye movement sleep. It is a type of dyssomnia...

Sigh...
Happy now?

And so today's update:

Spend: 100 on games, 60 on farecard, 20+ on expences with girlfriend, 10 on food, 550 for household allowance, 500 savings...
Save: guess quite alot since it could cost quite alot if i had my condition examined by specialist...
Wallet: 55
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 550++
Saving Bank: 5000
Saving (2): 1007

雨の樹

2006-11-05T21:15:00.000+08:00

1 month and a week...
2 weeks since update...

Went to visit the 'raining tree' with my girlfriend...
The tree which named 'Miracle'...

While from far it look like a normal tree, upon closer inspection its bark is clearly artificial...
(Frankly speaking it not too hard to identify since its the only tree which is still considerably brushy compare to other scrawny trees...)

While its not all magical or what-so-ever...
It manage to calm me down from the fustration of 2 continuous week of shit dumped on me...
The 'rain' is some what cooling is this hazy and humid surrounding...

'Refreshed'...
The best word to describe the feeling...

'Miracle'...
A great name for a great tree...

And so today's update:

Spend: ...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 21++
Saving Bank: 4500
Saving (2): 957

For those whom i care, for those whom i love...

2006-10-18T22:13:00.000+08:00

Its been two and a half week since i post on board ship...
Starting to feel...

Empty...

Really begining to hate this place...
Felt like i've sold my soul...
Not only have it taken away my pride, my life, my game...
Now its even on the verge of taking away my love ones too...

Recently lots of my friends have been looking for me... Saying i've seems to disappear for this world...While my girlfriend is very kind enough to understand my situation, i still feel i owe her and my friends an apology...

To my dear friends,
I apologise for not keeping contact with you...
I regret not being able to keep our strings close and letting it drift away...
I'm truly sorry for not able to do anything bout it...

To my beloved girlfriend,
Though i may not be able to be there when you need me, nor am i able to do anything to make the situation better...
My promise to you remain strong as ever...
Nothing shall ever sway me away from you...
I shall continue to be a better man...
Only for you...

And people,
Till i leave this forsaken place, i may still have quite a problem keeping contact with all of you...
But believe me,
People may have forgotten Jack,
But Jack will never forget you...

My friends,
This blog is writen for all of you...

And so today's update:

Spend: 10 farecard, 4 on bread, 2 to replace my pen which my shipmate lost, and some on drinks...
Save: Quite abit on medication bill i guess...
Wallet: 14
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 324.15
Saving Bank: 4500
Saving (2): 1007

A sailor's life...

2006-10-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

Some say that sailors are the 'Man of the man', tempered by the rough sea, they fear none...

I don't know bout other country but from what i've seen in my place so far, i'll say they're rather...

Hmmm... Can't find the word to describe it...
To feel strongly that a man should be strong and tough while outcasting the gentler ones as gays...

I'm not saying that that believe is totally wrong... Cause a man should have a certain degree of toughness in order to protect the one he loves and to basically, just be a man...
But i don't think they are the bunch of people who you would wanna look up to them as role model...

You see, there is this saying bout the people here that goes: Sons of the sea...
Sound good and reasonable but the catch come when the full sentence is told, which is:
We are the sons of the sea and fathers of many lands...

To put it short, people here could jolly well be some of the worst bunch you could ever knew...
Heavy smokers, been through the red light district of almost every country which they sailed to, couldn't care less much bout how they're love ones feel when they're away, vulgarity is their second languge and drink alcohol as if they are H2O...

And for those who are not one of the above, most likely they'll do everything to convert them which include: peer pressure, force alcohol and most commonly used, discrimination...
Which basically means, they won't accept you until you prove you're one of them...

Which i personally feel that if they want me to be anything above...
OVER MY DEAD BODY...

No hell way am i gonna lose myself just so i can fit into these bunch of barbarians...
I love myself, my sanity, my geeky and nerdy way, my computer and my games, my feminine side which allows me to understand other's feeling and most importantly i love my girlfriend...

I don't care if i'm a gay to them as long as my girlfriend likes who i am...

Beside, they say that the divorce and break up rates amoung them are ridiculously high...

I wonder why...

And so today's update:

Spend: 500 saving, 550 household allowance, 120 saving (2), 55 for auction game, 12.50 lunch, 4.80 for yesterday dinner, 50 for farecard, 8 haircut, 6.50 for passport photo and maybe a somemore not mosre than 20 for stuff that i can't remember...
Save: At least 12 for the auction game which retail price 60++
Wallet: 22
Coins: 3.05
Current Bank: 334.15
Saving Bank: 4500
Saving (2): 1007

Hot sun, no sand, rough sea... VERY rough sea...

2006-10-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

One week out at sea... (technically its 3 day 3 night, but close enough)

The good thing is i only spent 3+ for the whole week...

The bad thing?

Let see now... Where should i start?
The ship which i'm posted to is one of the oldest ship in S'pore Navy... Still floating...
Well... If i were to describe it in one word, i'll say: STINKS...

Really... It smells... The chocked up toilet bowl, the rottening of leftover in the clogged sewage, the corrosion of the brass and metal from the salt water, the smog from the engine, and worst of all, the contaminated air in the air-conditioning which is filled with years of vomiting odour...

Speaking of vomitting, i've learnt the very hard way that i have very serious motion sickness...
After vomitting an average of 2 bags per day... i think i've lost a good 5kg or so... And when your sea sick is as bad as mine, you can't tell whether your stomach is:
hungry, stomach ache, just wanna vomit or all of the above...
By the 2nd day, all thats coming out are plain juice mix of water and stomach acid... Lying down helps... ALOT... But the only problem is, how long do you think you can stay down there before someone drags you up...

The ship rocks harder than heavy metal... When its moving, it rocks back and fore, like a mix between the roller coaster and the pirate ship, just damn freaking longer... When is stops, it rolls side to side, which makes walking more difficult than on ice... And if your thinking moving in slower speed helps, there's the smog from the engine which you gotta deal wtih...

Sigh... i've never been so grateful to be able to walk on flat stable ground, able to eat without worring the spoon may go up my nose, able the sleep without fearing of vomitting when i wake up, able to shit without worrying the shit may end up in my face...

All hope is not lost i guess...
Though there's 3 things i've learnt in this trip...

1, the sea out there is really blue...
After being confined in this small island for so long, i almost forgot that the sea i always see at the beach is not really green... Kindda reminding you that, if you keep yourself too closed up for too long, you'll tends to lost sight of the bigger picture...

2, there's another world beyond the horizon...
Not everyday your able the see such sight where from all angles around you is nothing but sky and sea for as far as you can see... (i think i put 1 too many 'see' between the 'sea's... oh well...)
No birds, no fishs, not even a tiny shadow of a distance ship...
Almost makes you wonder: How big IS this world... Really...

Last bout not least, there is no total darkness...
Even in the middle of nowhere out in sea, it'll never be pitch black to a point you can't see whats in front of you... Cause even in the darkest of the night, there'll always be even a star to bring you that tiniest light you need to show you the way... In my case, there's a very generous full moon to lift my spirit with a path of moonlight that shimmers cross the gentle waves of the ocean... It almost make the whole trip worth while...

Well, ALMOST... If i wasn't vomiting my lungs out that time...

1st time in 10 months after signing the paper,
i truly regret it...

And so today's update

Spend: 2 on lunch and 1.20 for a candy...
Save: earn 18bucks from spare change from the com i build for my parent...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ??? (okay, i'm lazy... sue me =P)
Current Bank: 20++
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): 880

Moment of truth...

2006-10-01T18:15:00.000+08:00

Could jolly well be the poorest period in my life...

WAY overspent this month, too much on food (thanks the to 1week break, constantly went to out to meet my girlfriend and of course feeding her), too much (than what i'm suppose to) on games (pre-order it... hey the games are good okay?)...

Sigh...
Why does all the good games have to come all at the same time?

Oh and for goodness sake STOP giving comments bout how stupid i'm for paying my girlfriends bill...
Yes its a heavy burden but i trying to lighten her load here...
Have any of you guys ever thing bout what you girls are going through whenever you go out on a date? In my case, she's not working it yet and thus still taking allowance from her parents... Having only 250 per month for all her expences including phone bill and transport, you think she can afford going out all so offen and keeping up with the phone bill?
What i'm doing here is so i can lighten her load so she's able to go on a date with more ease...

And hopefully earn the trust of her parent too...

And so today's update

Spend: 25 for a game guidebook, 15 manga, near 100+ on food...
Save: Yeah right...
Wallet: 22
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 20++ (no, not 2k+, TWENTY plus)...
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): 880 (ate into my savings already...)

John Tucker Must Die...

2006-09-25T22:25:00.000+08:00

Just watch the movie this afternoon, the typical movie bout how girls goes crazy over 1 hot guy and so on...

Now, after such show you just couldn'tbut to ask:
Why girls dig jerks?

Chinese there's a say which literally translate as:
Woman shan't love if man ain't bad...

I mean, what is if all this 'bad guy' thingy which all girls go ga-ga about? We all know that he's gonna dump you in the end, make a fool outta you in the end, totally break your heart as easy as breaking the wooden chopstick for asian food...
Yet, girls still couldn't help but to fell almost shamelessly (pardon my language) for them...

Why?

Take this John Tucker for example, they all know his a player, he always have at least 2 'girlfriends' whom he's going out with, he always lie to get the girl he want, use the same old cheesy (yet smart i must admit) line on every girl, and worst of all claim victory for the girls whom he bangged...

So what is it that girls see in him?
I mean, oh sure his rich, his handsome, his macho, had an ass girls kill for, captain of basketball team, witty, charming, knows how to make a girl feel good...
...
I just answer my own question didn't I?

I think i'll just go hang myself now...

And so today's update:
(Note: For the sake of those who i will be going out this coming week, i shall keep the numbers in my possesion unknown till the end of the week)

Spend: 48 for my last pre-order game, 20 for a present for my friend's birthday, 287 for bills, 10 farecard, lost count on food...
Save: you kidding me?
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: ???
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): ???

Heaviest week of my life...

2006-09-15T23:13:00.000+08:00

Sigh...
Though its over but its still hurt to lick my wounds...
Maybe i'll go see a doc soon...

Nothing much you guys need to know, except i can breath bit easier now...

Commo everybody, follow me...

BREATH...
*inhale*
.
.
.
*exhale*

Ahh... life is beautiful...

Oh and my back hurts...
Maybe cause for the last 72hours i only slept bout 10...

Need... sleep...
Zzz...

And so today's update:

Spend: 96 for game and stuff, 25+ at a really cool resturant for a farewell party, 130+ girlfriend's bill, 50 farecard, 550 household allowance, 500 monthly saving, 100 return to saving(2)... (amazing how fast my money goes the moment it comes isn't it...)
Save: 100 earn for duty, got back 20 from friend...
Wallet: 14
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 475++
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): 997

Worst case senario...

2006-09-09T02:06:00.000+08:00

Just went to watch "The Devil Wear Prada" with my girlfriend is afternoon...
Quite a good show i muxt say, though the starting looking like its just one of those chick-flick...
(Oh and i love Miranda's white hair, really give her a the emperess look)...

Ok, call me strange for all i care, it a habit of mine ever since i'm a 'only-child' of the family that i like to reflect upon myself on the worst case senario should anything happen to just bout everything (which explains alot why i'm always talking to myself too...)...

The thing is, for the past near 2 years of my relationship with my girlfriend, i've constantly reflect on myself all sort of wicked senarios (i worry too much, i know...) to... how do i say... Prepare myself should god forbid any of those rubbish would happen... And also at the same time, testing myself to see what are the limits of my tolerance towards my girlfriend's lady's temper... (you know, PMS and stuff...) All in all the main purpose is so that i can better man for my girlfriend...
You people may laugh you heads off, but believe me, it've done wonders for us... I've learnt to be extra patient towards her problems, give her the space she need, not constranining her social circle, understands what is it she likes in her hobby (I've never thought i'll EVER bring myself to read a book word for word seriously...)... And she have too learned to understand my needs, my way and my life...

So far my bottom line conclusion is that:
As long as she doesn't cheat on me, i'll love her with everything i got no matter how much shit she throws at me...

Ok, for those who are wondering: 'so what those it have to do with the movie i just watched?'

Now, THIS by far is the WORST senario i've yet to test upon myself, which is inspire by one scene in the movie... Imagine this:
Girl get over demanding, guy finally lose his sanity, guy initiate some time apart to cool off, girl broke down, girl met old friend who happen to have a crush on her for a long time and was there for her, they had a few drinks, they have a night *AHEM* together, girl regret it, girl wanna go back to her guy...

So the case now is that, technically she wasn't cheating on the guy since they're apart during that time, and it the guys fault in the first place since HE is the one who initiate the stupid idea anyway...

Help me out here guys...
What would you do something like this happen to someone whom you really love lot?

Me? I would really really wanna forgive her and take her back, but i really dunno if i can accept the fact that she... with another man...
I dunno if i can even bring myself to even touch her anymore... Get what i mean?

Sigh... Think to much again...

And so today's update:

Spend: 23.70 for the whole day...
Save: save a ticket since she use her friend's GV movie voucher...
Wallet: 14++
Coins: 3.65 (?)
Current Bank: 145++
Saving Bank: 3500
Saving (2): 897

Night Walker...

2006-09-03T02:36:00.000+08:00

Day walker is a vampire's term use to describe one of their kind that has grant the ability to roam during the day, which pretty much make them much more deadlier...

I like to describe myself as a Night walker since for some reason ever since young i'm always more alert and awake at night...
It has came to a point when even my body heals better after 12 midnight, whether i'm asleep or not...

And also cause......

Anyway, don't feel like sleeping en tonight since i'll be going back camp tomorrow morning... And especially since i'm doing duty tomorrow when i'll be spending a good 60% of my time sleeping anyway...

Keep having flash back of those topic which my nechan and i were chatting bout yesterday...
Bout different people from the higher, the middle and the lower class family...

I can't really speak for others but as for my side, my parent both grew up from litherally the bottom class or somewhere there (they always tell me scare stories bout their childhood)...
Upon reaching adulthood and marrage, they work really hard to improve their situation to that of a middle class... I can still remember that back when i'm really REALLY young, we don't have much in the house, not even a decent sofa... But i really like those days, simple and happy...

Things change alot since I reach primary school... My dad start to get obsess over how people think bout him and the family, and the family pretty much went down hill from there...
Though we're much more well to do by then, nothing make any sense anymore...
Things got worse by the time I got to secondary school, lots of problem at home and i litherally fall into the dark side of life... My result WAS pretty impressive once but slides down like a bowling ball on a 85 degrees slope on grease... One moment i was in the A class, before i knew it i dropped to E class...

Through this episode, i really felt i got condemn by lots of the A and B class students for my falling grades... Even my dad turn eyes on me... It is there i can really see the differents between the eyes of people when your one of them and when your not...

People who know me better would know i'm just disturbed and dislikes studys... Though the rest thinks i'm degenerating to a worthless bump... Even till i got to poly, i still get comments from old A class classmate that they thought i'm in ITE... And even after double comfirming with others, they still gimme that look as if i'm still not good enough for them since they made it to some hot shot JC...

For ranting out so much, i must give a fair statement in which i admit that i myself give the same eyes on other people as well on ocasion too... i don't have much excuse nor will i deny the fact that i do... My only defence is that i usually gave such aditude only to people who are lazy especially when they knew very well they're incompetant of the assignment... But i must apologise should i have misjudge those whom i didn't get to know well enough before i pass judgement on them...

Sigh... talked too much again...

And so today's update:

Spend: 13 on meal...
Save: some, since nowadays i let my girlfriend pay the smaller change...
Wallet: ???
Coins: 3.65 (?)
Current Bank: 150++
Saving Bank: 3500
Saving (2): 897

Long x3 awaited...

2006-09-02T01:28:00.000+08:00

You think after 3 week without updating anything i can still keep up with my list for the month?
Not a chance...
But here's what i'm gonna do...
i'll just write down whatever i can remember and the rest went all to either food, transport or bill...
It always does anyway...

Now let see if i can remember how it all started...

Ok, the week when i 1st went back to camp after the break, i got slam right in the face with 3 weekend duty straight in the face... We got a offer of sun duty (mine is on sat) to earn bit extra cash, and initially the guys' plan is to stay through the weekend together...
To put it simple, they play me out and sold their sat while using the earning of sun to find a replacement on sat... The officer incharge on sat gave us shit that day that i totally lost my mood and sold off the sun duty, meaning earning = zero...

The following week went by very stressfully since i totally miscalculate my allowance for the month and got a major paper... Though it went by pretty smoothly, the duty on fri cock up again...
The bunch of recruit for duty (AKA understudies) was with us that night to learn bout doing duty... People on duty were to sleep in a designated room so as they can be easily call upon should something happen, but there's not enough room for all so the recruit went back to their bunk to sleep...

Unfortunately, these moron didn't lock the door at night while their sleeping and 5 phones with a wallet were stolen that night... The original release time of 8am got push back to 9.30am just for a full bunk raid and full body search before we leave camp...
Think thats bad enough? 1 hour later after we left, they call us back cause the head commander decide to pursuit the matter... $7 spent just to get a cab back camp...
The final leaving time: 3.30pm...

At least one good thing happen, for the 1st time in our near 2 years relationship, i finally brought my girlfriend out the watch some stars... Though we're suppose to be looking out for Mars and its not as great nor grand as it should be but it still very nice...
Just to hold her while she rest her head on me looking up for stars... Whatever in which we can even find... And would be a whole lot better if it weren't so crowded and the indian family singing along....

One thing my mom taught me is that once you reach a certain age, you gotta set aside some money simply for emergency use... That day came the next day... Went with my girlfriend to her class reunion at some fancy resturant in Orchard, a buffet dinner for 13 heads... I was there just telling the guys bout the up coming BMT stuff which they shall be facing soon while my girl just play along with her friends... What i didn't expect is that for some food which ain't so fantastic (all i can easily get from hawker, cheaper and better) which i didn't eat much anyway, the bill accumulate to a whooping $303... Thank god i've 2 cards with me...
My guess is we're actually paying for the atmosphere, not the food...

Sigh... And so, the following week... more papers, more work, and gotta help my dad find a com for himself which he wanna download songs and shows from some sleazy site which we all knows its gonna be jammed with virus and adware infectors (noway i'm paying)... I'm just trying to find a com which is virtually impossible to find to save my poor hard earned computer from suffering the fate of being gibbed (gamer term of being blown up into smithereens of nothingness)...

Just went for a long awaited dinner with my nechan Anthea...
She a great person to talk and shop with (though half the time i've the slightest idea where hell we're heading)... Fun, happy go lucky, ethusiastic, street smart woman, its almost hard to believe she's really 23 (she don't look like one too)... One thing i like bout her is she kindda share the same view bout nowadays sociaty as i do... We both been through quite a dark part of it and experience what its like to be within the higher class while we're nowhere their standard...
Get what i mean?

And as for my bud...
Somehow just really can't bring myself to even ask him bout how's its going on between him and his girl... The only thing i can find myself talking to him bout is the common topic which we have been saying since sec1: game...
At least we still have something to talk about i guess...

And so today's update:

Spend: Totally lost track... sigh...
Save: Like i can really save any...
Wallet: 34
Coins: 3.65
Current Bank: 150++
Saving Bank: 3500
Saving (2): 897

Dilemma...

2006-08-14T18:28:00.000+08:00

Its just simply amazing how much one can go through weeks with nothing much to say while suddenly jamming up with tons of ideas in just mere few hours...

1st of all, i'm still pretty much disturb over this matter bout my best bud and my ex-crush...
Have you have been through a situation where you have no luck with this girl you like but before you knew it, you buddy is going after her... i've been there... 3rd time now i believe...

What matter most here is my bud here is turning me for advice on how to win her heart... For a starter, she didn't gimme a very good impression since the last time i saw her but from what i can analyse here, they both just might be the perfect match... I think...
The last thing i wanna do now is to give him the wrong info bout her and ruin his future... So what i initially suggest is that i have a talk with her to see both side of the story before i make any false judgement...

The only problem now is my girlfriend... Well, you can't really blame her for not liking that idea can you... To assure my poor girlfriend and to give her i peace of mind i decide not to call her... Which now just bring me back to the problem, how am i gonna face my bud?

2nd, chinese have a saying that goes (my girlfriend's saying i'm beinging to sound like Tan Ah Teck from Under One Roof: long before you time in the southen province of china...), every home have its own set of almost illegible bible...

Every house have a different story to tell... Not all are pleasing to hear... It takes one who have a tough story of their own to be able to comprehand what another might be going through...
I... never believe that mine is the toughest of all... Just know that mine ain't as easy as what others might think... Thus i never boast bout my battle-scar and instead, always like to use this... Gift... in return to help other who may not able to cope well with their own story...

With this small little wisdom i've gain way beyond my age, i've help few friends in need... One of course in my dearest girlfriend... But not all have i succeed... Which is why i'm never very proud of this... gift of mine...
I believe that when your giving people advice bout relationship and life especially, you more or less need to have a certain degree of seriousness, cause it'll be rude to give false assumption to people who believe in you... Very much like the True fortune telling, too much or too little information may vary the decision that person will take... Be good or be bad, it'll all be the responsiblity of the person whose giving the advices...

Harsh it is... Maybe i'm being too hard on myself...
But...
i'm putting my life at stake everytime i give people my advise...

And so today's update:

Spend: 20 farecard, 7 breakfast, 14 movie, 3.90 her mint (again), 15 for a emergency NDS power supply...
Save: movie on mon is always cheaper, meal at my poly is even better =P
Wallet: 17
Coins: 0.95
Current Bank: 1020.94(?)
Saving Bank: 3000(?)
Saving (2): 1000

The greatest mystery in the world....

2006-08-13T22:15:00.000+08:00

What women want?

As the end of my holiday comes to the end, thinking back what happen just this few days really makes me ponder bout this age old eternal question...
the term: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, isn't there for joke...

They just simply don't make any sense at all from times to times...
For eg: Yesterday my girlfriend wake up in a bad mood with 'R.A.G.E.' writen all over her face. Totally ignoring all my comments and concerns towards her, even broke up a fight just for what you ask?

Ans: A nightmare of me cheating on her...

I spent 2hours trying to console and comfort her that its not real, it never happened and it never will, blah blah blah...
Okay, i understand enough that women are very sensitive and emotional, thus it hurts them alot (though a tad too much) just the mere thought of something unforgiving should happen and pains them more than stabbing through their hearts...

Or maybe cause it just PMS... (i know cause i keep track on her cycle okay? And guys, i suggest you do the same too if you wanna keep you sanity...)

And just now i had yet again another fight with her cause i was trying to contact my old crush-for-10years-girl (very very long story...) as my best bud is trying his luck for her and i wanna find out if she is worthy of him (yes, if SHE is worthy of HIM, he's just too nice for her... Just my humble opinion, excuse me...)...

(Wai, if your reading this, sorry man... Don't mean to keep it from you... Just thought i shouldn't mix my personal life with yours)

By the by, and so we quarrel for a good 3 hours and she throw all sort of rubbish at me, even taboo subject which she promise me not to bring up again...
(Yet in the mist of the quarrel, (we are perhaps the only couple who can quarrel through SMS), i'm still able to cast aside everything to buy her favourite limited edition mint which i came across on my way home...)

Like i've said, women just don't make sense... She can broke her promise anytime she want while we're dead meat should we even dare to think bout it...
(Not that i'm actually blaming her consider how jealous she is and her period just came this afternoon where i actually have to go find the kotex for her...... Don't ask how i got it...)

The point being, i don't dare to say i AM that perfect or what-so-ever (but girls, frankly speaking, where can you find a guy who would keep track on your cycle and even go all out to get you a kotex when you don't have one...), but i am trying... Perhap i'm really a hypocrite here, just doing what ''i think i'm suppose to do'' to make her happy...

But...
I really wanna make her happy...

So people, feel free to drop your comment... Girls are most welcome...
Thanks again...

And so today's update:

Spend: 10 farecard, 13 lunch, 6 snacks, 7.80 her mint, 30 for yet another 2nd-hand game...
Save: 50 from my mom belated birthday gift...
Wallet: 50
Coins: 2.25
Current Bank: 1080.94
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000

Refuel...

2006-08-11T02:08:00.000+08:00

After 3 months of weekends, the NDP is finally over...
In which all the time we suffered, time away from love ones and friends earns us a good 4 days (5 if you include sunday) off...

I'll say: WE DESERVED IT!!!

Its finally on such days where we can finally take a good long rest we need so desperately... And just in the right time where our pay for the month finally arrived too...

Most people i know already gone for vacation, celebration, etc...

Me?
With this flu which i just caught, i'll be just staying back and rest for the while, thank you...
(I never have much luck with holidays, always come down with all sort of illness...)

And so today's update:

Spend: 550 for household allowance, 184.15 for girlfriend's bill (sigh...), 11.75 lunch, 20 farecard...
Save: Soon enough...
Wallet: 50
Coins: 1.55
Current Bank: 1106.94
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000

Homeless birthday...

2006-08-07T00:34:00.000+08:00

Every year i always make a prediction that my birthday would suck like hell...
This year i'll let you people decide whether if it really does...

i spent 10 buck just to rush back home the day before my birthday just hope i can get some rest and maybe time of my own... i wasn't expecting any party, presents, surprise or what-so-ever, all i want is to lay down on my soft warm bed and play my game...

When i reach home, everything look normal, no lights, nobody, no nothing...

...Till i open the door of my room to find it pile up with my mom's TRASH...

The room is so filled with rubbish that there isn't even any walking space at all... Even my bed is full of her junk... i gave her a call and all she can say is: oh your back, bout the stuff in your room, you just slowly move it to my workshop (AKA storeroom) and i'll buy you dinner when i get home k?

At this time, i've 2 option in mind: 1st, Move all her stuff to her place like what she told me to do or i could: 2nd, TRASH THE WHOLE PLACE UP!!!

I mean, WTF!? Can't i even have a peaceful time on my birthday!? i offer her not to make any party or buy me any present to save her money and trouble, only requesting her to pay for my dental bill... And THIS is what i get for my 21st birthday!?

The moment i find myself trying to grab something to throw, i pick up my phone, call my mother: forget bout dinner, i'm going back camp (she can still innocently say: oh they call you up is it?) and went back camp... While buying myself a birthday present on the way...

Reach camp, fixed a little pre-birthday dinner (cupnoodle), sleep...

Next day? NDP rehearsal... Nuff said...
Didn't eat much that day, been having stomach ache for the last whole week... Didn't have the appetite to eat much...

Didn't go home that night... i knew if i went home i'll surely have a big fight with my parent... Why don't i meet my girlfriend? She came down with a flu... Though she did offer for me to stay at her place, i reject her offer as... well... what am i gonna say to her mom?
In the end, stay back in camp again, with only 2 pieces of cookie for dinner...

Went home the next morning, couldn't bring myself to speak to my parent, just a simple wave and nod of my head to answer her question (and she still ask: in what way did i offended you?)...

This conclude my 21st birthday...

i know perhaps that it is i who do upon myself...
But if you were in my shoe, what would you do?
Feel free to drop a comment...

And so today's update:

Spend: lost track, only remember 10 on comic, 59 for 'birthday present', 23.30 on total cab fare, 65 to repair my portable HD, 36.03 on belated 'birthday meal', 1.40 on drink...
Save: 35 for duty...
Wallet:10
Coins: 1.90
Current Bank: 182.06
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000

Here it comes... again...

2006-07-31T18:22:00.000+08:00

I was just begining to wonder why my last 2 blog fail...
Then i remember the time i spent on gaming =P

Anyway, its bout now where my annual 'B'day luck begin...
Just bout 1 week before my birthday, i'll be struck with major rotten luck, increasingly rotten and numbers by the day...

Or maybe its just me thinking too much again...

Oh well... i'm trying not too think too much this year since its suppose to be a special year for me, my 21st birthday...
But can't help explain:
Caught by commander early in morning,
Miss bus home,
major screw up in parade,
stomach ache for 3hours,
adeptor for my portable hard-drive blow up when my com is running low on space...

Then again, i could be thinking too much...

And so today's update:

Spend: 27 for cab fare, total 43 on meal for the last 2 days...
Save: 35 earn from duty...
Wallet:33
Coins: Not a clue
Current Bank: 330(?)
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000

Not my day... Or is it?

2006-07-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

Ever have one of those days when you just told yourself that you really REALLY shouldn't spend anymore and the item which you have been searching for the longest time pop outta no where, and to make the matter worse, it on limited stock and 1/2 price too...

And to think i was hoping i can actually save bit more this month...

At least i won't be spending anymore for awhile...
Don't think there's anymore games i want...

... i hope...

And so today's update:

Spend: 25 for 2nd-hand NDS game, 223.82 bills, 14 for movie ticket, 4.90 for nacho set, 20 farecard, 10 girlfriend's farecard, 14.80 girlfriend's book, 2 for comic, 15.70 lunch, 39.90 for 'Lost' game No.2...
Save: ...
Wallet:17
Coins: 2.50
Current Bank: 386.93(?)
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000

Balance is the key...

2006-07-21T22:19:00.000+08:00

Balance... To achieve enlighten in life, one must achieve balance in life...
I think...?

The one such balance in which i myself tends to lose is my control in money...
Sure, by now you should see that under normal circumstance i'm a really thrifty person who won't spend much on unnecessary (i hate spelling this word) item...
But as soon as i got the spare cash, i always seems to went on a spending spree, spending over 300 bucks in a blink of an eye... Well, considering the price of the games i buy, 300 really is quite a good bargan already but still... i really should stop spending this month...

At the mean time, seems like my friend and my girlfriend's friend(s) is having some rough time in their relationship (2 different story mind you)... Not too sure what went wrong with my friend side, but as for my girlfriend's friend(s)...
How should i put it?

Girls are creatures that live for attention... Which explains the fact they took so much time and effort to dress up... And being a boyfriend mean you gotta be ready to accept the fact that she's gonna demand quite alot of your attention on her...
Be it reasonable or not, you just gotta give her or she will find one way or another to steal it from you... From purposely calling you in the middle of your favourite world cup match to dragging you out on a date when you suppose to be having a guys-night-out... Commo guys, you know what i mean, we all been through such things...

Anyway, the problem with my girlfriend's friend(s) is that (to the best of my knowledge so far), girl demand guy attention more than the guy can give, guy demand his life back from her, they break up, girl till now still pestering guy to meet up or "just be friend", guy use harsh words (but no vurgarity).

I must admit something before i go on any further or it'll seems all so unfair to the other guys...
I'm born the only child in the family and i grew up in an adult environment where i'm force to be independent at a very young age with little attention from parent nor any relatives. Being a gamer/computer geek gimme a natural Reverse magnet againist all girls thus i've always been dying for girls attention (which is really very sad). So when my girlfriend comes along and ask for all the attention she want, i'm just too happy to give her all i can provide (till a point she actually find me too irritating, nevermind that).

The point is, girls by natural thinks and worry at least twice as much as an average guy in relationship wise... Their very insecure over their place in OUR heart and no amount of flattery, assurance nor quarrel will ever calm their poor souls down. So guys, what i urge you all to do is to do yourself and your girls a favor, give them what they want. Don't wait, find excuses or pretend you never hear her. That few minutes of attention (ok, sometimes maybe few hours) will make her day and whatever left of time will be yours to keep.
Patience is the key, so don't expect miracle the moment you start this, she may actually get more anxious with the sudden change of attitude. Balance out your work and the time you spend on her, baby steps at a time, slowly but surely, she'll realise the effort you put in and she'll definately appreciate you more for it...

I really talk too much today...

And so today's update:

Spend:

Mon: 5.60 breakfast, 9.10 snacks, 59 for DS game, 13.80 DS accesory, 8.50 shampoo, 1 for drink...
Today: 60 for a 'lost' game...

Save: more like EARN 70 bucks for extra duty...
Wallet: 42
Coins: 2.40
Current Bank: 730.65
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000

The BIG list...

2006-07-16T23:31:00.000+08:00

Woh... Been one whole week since i last update...
Guess you really can't help it when your this tired, lack of time, worry bout girlfriend, and got new games to play =P

Anyway, cut the crap, here's the over due list...

And so today's update:

Spend:

Sun- 71.76 for 2 Gamecube games, 35.65 for girlfriend's birthday gift (book), 5 for comic
Mon- 5.50 for breakfast, 9.50 lunch, 65.50 for another game, 20 for farecard, 8.32 for comic again, 21.90 stuff toy for girlfriend, 1.05 for drink
Wed- 500 into my saving (Auto)
Fri- 6 for 'the great escape'...
And finally today- 13.30 for cab (was late for my date =P), 15.10 lunch, 58 for girlfriend's err.. stuff, 6.70 for ice cream(!!), 1 for drink..

Save: Quite a lot thanks to my membership card for games.
Wallet: 27
Coins: 1.35
Current Bank: 850++
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000

The great Zees...

2006-07-09T01:35:00.000+08:00

...
Must...
Sleep...
Zzz...

And so today's update:

Spend: 10 to topup farecard, 98 for my girlfriend's bill, 700 for monthly household allowance...
Save: 500(?)
Wallet: 15
Coins: 2.60
Current Bank: 1729.92
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 1000

Summer of summer...

2006-07-07T22:44:00.000+08:00

Man... The weather just won't even show signs of cooling down even by just abit...

Frankly speaking, i have the slightest idea how much i actually have left in my bank... Roughly bout 230++... Sigh... Really gotta take saving more seriously...

But at least there's something to look forward to...
This coming pay is gonna be whopping huge... But as for how much... I'll update here soon enough... Hehe... =P

The only problem left is...

When will it even come?

And so today's update:

Spend: 15 return for the spare NDS charger, 5 for taxi fare
Save: (?)
Wallet: 25
Coins: 2.60
Current Bank: 230++ (?)
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

'Edge-Oh-Tee'...

2006-07-03T02:10:00.000+08:00

I'm a Leo, and for those who know astrology well, they would know i'm of fire element... And being fire element, for a some reason i'm naturally more resistance to heat than anything else...
(or maybe its just some lame excuse... Oh nevermind...)

But today...

Damn the weather is HOT!!!

The sun really show no mercy today, blazing up the whole of national stadium like a gaint oven...
Quite a few people almost fainted...

And of course, with weather like this, its the convinent shop holders' happiest day... Selling a small cup of diluted coke for 2 bucks...

Not sure if i can stand the temptation myself... But its a good thing i refuse to bring my wallet =P

And so today's update:

Spend: Nil
Save: (?)
Wallet: 24
Coins: 2.65
Current Bank: 250++ (?)
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

Day of rest...

2006-07-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

Well, what was suppose to be one of my usual weekend turns out shorter than expect... Thus giving me more time for myself...

Come to think of it, my usual weekend are always spend with my girlfriend... Not that i'm complaining bout it... Guess i could use a little time of my own... Just that things doesn't feels the same without her around and moreover, with the miserable 2 days off from camp per week, its already tough enough not being with her as offen as i should be...

I guess thats what i like bout my girlfriend the most... She really understanding towards my situation and of course being able to withstand my qurky temper as well as me being over paranoid...

People 1st impression on my 4-years-younger-than-me girlfriend is always that i've cheat her into this relationship or something like that... Or basically i'm just purely desperate...
The truth is that... Over the years we've been thru together, i've watch her blossom, slowly but steadily, into a beautiful fine young lady... Though being a girl she ocassionally brings up her temper and so... But still...

That's what i like her bout her... My kitty =3

And so today's update:

Spend: 15.35 for lunch, 10 to top up farecard...
Save: Nil
Wallet: 24
Coins: 2.65
Current Bank: 250++ (?)
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

The money i earn...

2006-06-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

Sigh... Tried ways to earn a little side cash but in the end...

Let see... 1st of all, some strange surge of current blow up my NDS charger and whole row of power source near my bed... Not mentioning to inconvinent it cause, it cost me 15 bucks to buy a new charger as well...

I found this great site way i can download old classic games from the past console... The problem is you gotta give as much as you leech... Or you'll be baned... Either that or donate 35 bucks to them... I don't much time nor stuff to donate... Care to guess which i choose? (Ans below...)

There goes most of what i manage to earn apart from my salary...

Sigh... Can't wait for my bonus next month...

And so today's update:

Spend: 15 for charger (haven't pay yet =p), 35 for membership fee, 3 for 'the great escape'...
Save: 35 for extra duty, 28 from the M1 top up card i buy for my friend last time...
Wallet: 20
Coins: 2.65
Current Bank: 250++ (?)
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

Little left...

2006-06-26T20:02:00.000+08:00

Sigh... Well, Just as i predicted... For one reason or another, i'll only have 200++ left in my bank by the end of the month... It so true its almost sad...

Really starting to get tired of life in Navy...
Not really regreting it since joining it clear off my mom's debt and keep me finacially independent... But still... With so much of my time being waste away in stuff which i didn't choose to do... It really sucks...

The worst part is that i can only make my way outta here earliest in 2011... Should i go get a degree, i'll only be out at an age of at least 28... Shouldn't that be bout the time i get married instead of looking for new job? Sigh...

Sigh... Maybe i just think too much...

And so today's update:

Spend: 5.30 for lunch...
Save: Nil
Wallet: 20
Coins: 5.65
Current Bank: 250++
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

Sizes of the hole...

2006-06-26T01:48:00.000+08:00

Haven't spent this much in one day since i bought my com...

The morning were spent 1st to get a trolly from a old classmate Debra... Amazingly she gonna get married soon... We couldn't be happier for her...
Then straight down to my girlfriend's place by cab to get the tv...
Was seriously wondering if the tv would fit in the cab... End up got another friend, Darius, to have his dad with his pick-up truck to send us back to my place...
After the tv's safe and sound in my place, off to causeway point to give the guys a treat at Sakae Sushi...

So all and all todays expences is bout...

370 bucks...

Well, at least my bills for the month is dealed with...

Btw, Thanks alot guys! Really dunno what i'll do without your help... Really appreciate it all =>

Sigh... Can't wait for the next pay already...

And so today's update:

Spend: 100 for tv, 73 for breakfast and lunch, 191.29 for phone + internet bills and 10 for my farecard...
Save: Err... Consider how much this tv used to cost... Nevermind...
Wallet: 25
Coins: 5.95
Current Bank: 250++
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

All in the TV...

2006-06-25T02:19:00.000+08:00

Well, I've always been looking for a small size tv to fix all my games on to it in my room... But what i didn't expect is that i'll end up getting a 36" tv...
The price? Before that, let me first tell you how i even got it...

After the 2 weeks holiday/visiting in china, my girlfriend's mom reach home only to find the tv not working... Upon coming with the conclusion that the 10yrs-old tv is broken (even though they just send for repair a few months ago), the family went to order a new tv that night... Only to found out the next day that they forgot to turn on the power source...
Well, they came to a decision to sell the tv and the only buyer her mom can find offer a BIG FAT...

Get this: 50 bucks

Now, under normal circumstance, just bout anyone after hearing this will say:
"50 buck!? i'll buy it for a 100"...

... And that how i get a 36" tv for a 100 bucks...

Will be getting it tommorrow, with help from a good old friend of mine, William (A.K.A. Wai Lun, your the man dude =>)

Well as good as it all sounds, i don't think i'll use it for myself... It's a tad too big for my room... And beside, the 40+"-15yrs-old tv in my parent's room is turning funky this days... Keep switching between colour to black and white...
Well, at least now they can't say i didn't do anything for them...

And so today's update:

Spend: 4.80 for a spare crest for my beret,1 for a can of drink...
Save: 20++ (manage to hitch a ride home from a friend instead of hiring a cab...)
Wallet: 10
Coins: 8.xx
Current Bank: 652.xx
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

Note: All first entries of the weekend refers to all the spending for the whole week in camp...

2 Weeks away...

2006-06-19T18:30:00.000+08:00

Boy... It sure rains alot today...

Finally... My girlsfriends back from visiting her father whose working in China...
The 1st date with her after 2 whole week...
Nothing much here for you guys to know =P

Anyway, while things are up in my girlfriend side, my home side seems to be sliding quite seriously...
My mom just quit her day job in a clinic... Appearantly its getting a tad too hectic for her...
The place require her to work 9 to 9, 6 days a week... Commo, my mom's already in her mid 40s... She should be thinking bout retiring instead... Besides, she got bad knee... Can't stand too long...

Well, easier said than done... If she should really retire, that would only mean i gotta bring home more dough... And frankly speaking i ain't earning that much so...

Sigh... And now she's currently down with some illness...
What am i to do...

And so Today's update:

Spend: 12 for lunch for 2, 2.65 for a ultra fine pen (0.18mm)
Save: 0.60
Wallet: 12
Coins: Unknown... (-4.65)
Current Bank: 652.xx
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

Heavy dinner...

2006-06-19T00:19:00.000+08:00

And so today's father's day...
I've never know what to get for him on special event even till now...
So the best and easiest solution?
Treat him to a dinner...

But seriously, for mom, its all thoughts that counts... My mom is no exception... A simple card or any small gift will please her no end...

But dad... Let's face it... We're all guys... We prefer something solid, something of use, something which won't end up in the storage where it may never see daylight again... I mean, i understand it's the thoughts that counts but if people were to really put some thoughts to it, you think they'll really buy some stuff which he may never use as a gift?

So much for that... I still have his birthday to crack my head for...

And so Today's update:

Spend: 42.50 for dinner
Save: Nil
Wallet: 22
Coins: Unknown... (-2.50)
Current Bank: 652.xx
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

As the weeks goes...

2006-06-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought i finally manage to made some saving... My friend have to ask me to help buy a 28 buck M1 top up card...

Hmmm... Thinking bout quiting my RO soon... I love the game but... Leeching me 38 per month is well... Kindda rough for me...
Besides, i could jolly well use the money to go buy me a real game anyway...

Speaking of real game... I haven't buy and new game since... Feb i think...
sigh...

Must control... Gotta save up some cash for my girlfriend's birthday...

And so Today's update:
Spend: 1.30 on snickers bar, 28 on top up card, 10 top up farecard
Save: 10(?)
Wallet: 32
Coins: Unknown... (+2)
Current Bank: 684.xx
Saving Bank: 2500
Saving (2): 500

10 bucks worth of weekends...

2006-06-12T19:21:00.000+08:00

Being bound in the Navy means the rules is law... Another words, the hair must go or the weekends is yours...
Well, at least its not to the extence of BTM style but it still cost me 10 (somewhere there...) bucks per trip to the barber...

Speaking of barber, i only go to MALAY barber... For a good reason too... Chinese barber just don't seems to work well on my curly hair... It always turns out too angular or just a mess...

Hmmm... The bank still haven't draw the 500 to my savings... Oh well...

And so Today's update:

Spend: 8 to the barber
Save: (?)
Wallet: 22
Coins: Unknown...
Current Bank: 1247.14
Saving Bank: 2000
Saving (2): 500

When acting smart goes wrong...

2006-06-11T12:58:00.000+08:00

I guess out of the 7 deadly sins, i'm most vulnerable to 'Pride'... Which would explain why i'm paying for my girlfriend's phone bill...

Bought 2 monthly cards for my fav online game RO (ragnarok online), but accidently load up both card to only one of my account (i've 2...). Sigh... Gotta get another card...

Maybe its just me but i just don feel right to let my girlfriend or my mom to pay for my stuff.
(Dinner is an exception... My mom haven't been cooking for the last 5years... Only once in a blue moon...)

*Last minute late update*
In the end i just can't stand not having both my account running so went out to get another card... Again...
Also bought some supply home for the family... Technically just my parent since i'm the only child anyway...

And so today's update:

Spend: 120.48 on my girlfriend's phone bill, 57 on 3 monthly cards for RO, 6.10 for lunch, 5.30 for supper...
Save: Nil
Wallet: 10 (10 not to be touch... EVER)
Coins: Unknown...
Current Bank: 1267.14
Saving Bank: 2000
Saving (2): 500

And so it goes...

2006-06-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

Well rather than a real dairy, this is actually meant more to keep an acount on how much i'm spending and saving throughout the days...
Err... Maybe some people out there may not understand what are the difficulties i'm going through so maybe is blog might explain abit... I hope...
For a start, i'll be keeping a constant update on how much i'm spent, saved and the amount in my current and fix-saving bank account, so as to be able to evaluate my savings and spending so far... (and perhaps a record on all the gifts i've given my girlfriend so far =P)

And so today's update:

Spend: 12.90 on CDR, 500 for monthly house-hold allowannce
Save: Nil
Current bank: 1400++
Saving bank: 2000
Saving (2): 500